How Can Assertiveness and
Self Esteem Help You?






Assertiveness and self esteem can help you with the question of how to build self confidence. Do not get assertiveness confused with aggression or with being passive aggressive, as these are not beneficial to your esteem.




First, assertiveness is not aggression. Aggression can stem from low self esteem. It shows a potential weak area where a person makes up for it by lashing out, desperately trying to regain control.

Passive aggressive tendencies tend to be a more subdued form of aggression. This is manifested in such ways as procrastination, stubbornness, or inefficiency.

Assertiveness is the healthy way of expressing your will, where as aggression can be a more harmful expression.

Learning how to assert yourself in an effective manner can be a technique used while improving self esteem. This will naturally happen because as you become more assertive you gain control over what happens in your life, thus improving esteem. When you are not in control you may feel depressed or that you are a failure. You could eventually find yourself with issues such as self-loathing or self hatred. These feelings may also bring about anger or anxiety.

Even the act of expressing your true feelings are hard, thus potentially harming personal and work relationships. If you can not learn how to be direct and honest most relationships can and will suffer. Lack of communication is probably the number one reasons why most relationships fail.

Could not knowing the proper way to manifest assertiveness be the reason that some people continually fail at establishing long term relationships? Very much so.

How can you find a correct and healthy way to express your assertiveness?

Start by having a >b?healthy self esteem as a good foundation! You may need to build your self esteem up before you can have a correct expression of assertiveness. Other techniques you may try are:

  • Have correct thoughts -- Use positive language when speaking to yourself. "I have a right…" "Being assertive will help me…."
  • As if principle -- Act as if you are assertive in the correct circumstances.
  • Learn to express your opinions.
  • Practice and learn to say "no."

When you practice proper assertiveness and self esteem, your self confidence will grow. You will have the correct ability to get what you want and need. This practice will enable you to avoid using aggression or other passive aggressive tendencies.

Your esteem and confidence will be healthier, as will your relationships, both personally and professionally.

Decide today – to work. Work at doing your best, being your best, and accepting the best!




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